Monday, March 18, 2013

King Or Queen?

          When I was a little girl, we used to play a game called “King Or Queen?”.  The premise of the game is that you had to decide who you would trust and who you could not trust based on facial expression, body language and what they told you.  We hung a sheet high enough to act as a portable wall.  Behind the “wall” was a set of chairs.  The chairs were covered with another sheet.  From all appearances the two chairs looked identical.  But the trick was that even though the backs of the chairs were side by side, one of them would be turned around backwards to where the seat of the chair would be facing the opposite direction from where you had to sit down.  So on one side the king would say something like “Let me honor you for a day.  Sit on my throne.  You will become king for a day!”  And then the queen would rebut his request with a statement “NO! Do not trust the king.  Sit on my throne today and you will be safe.”  Each person had to decide who they believed; who they trusted.  The opportunities seemed equal but one would allow you to become “king or queen” and the other would dash you to the floor - landing you in “the dungeon”.

          Today I received a couple of emails from one of our newest friends. It was someone that I met through the Transformation Contest that I am currently participating in.  I am so grateful for my new friend.  Because of so much love and kindness, care and support by members of our group, he is receiving much needed medical help as well as having some of his basic needs taken care of.  The first email was not nearly as positive as the second one.  You see, our friend had some promises made to him a few weeks ago concerning certain ways that members of our group had pledged to help.  Based on what he was told, he had taken care of some of his daily necessities with the limited funds he had.  Once that was done, he was limited with his resources until the following month.  The problem with that is, one of the sources that had made a promise to him fell through.  BAM!  My friend hit the ground so to speak.  I wrote an email expressing my concern and promised that I would follow up and try to find out why this particular promise had not been fulfilled.  I then told him that I was here for the duration – not just through this contest.  I’ve told him that before and he had a choice to believe me or not believe me, but over the course of the last month, I have backed up those words.  Every time he chose to “sit in my chair” he found a soft place to land.  So he was confident in the words that I gave him.  I received a follow up email.  Here is what he said:  “There is HOPE.  Something is gong to happen this year.”  Part of the reason that he could say this with total confidence was that he had been on the phone with a local advocate of a crisis group that I had contacted who is helping him with his medical assessment and basic needs. The other reason is because I have given him many reasons to take me at my word, to trust me and to know that the “legs of my chair” would hold him up. 

          TRUST… sometimes it is a difficult thing and most often a scary process isn’t it?  We hear pledges and promises everywhere from political leaders to family members, from friends to movie stars.  I have spent most of my life being the most trusting person on planet earth it seems.  A close friend of mine has told me on more than one occasion that I have the purest heart of anyone he has ever met.  Honestly, no matter how many times I’ve been done wrong, lied to and talked about, something in me just longs to trust others and to keep an open heart of love towards everyone.  I have always given people the benefit of the doubt.  To quote a line in the book manuscript I am working on “acceptance of others had been both a curse and my saving grace.”  Perhaps that is true, but I would rather promote trust than to live a life totally jaded and withdrawn to where I could not put my faith in others.  I know this desire stems from my faith knowing that God has and never will let me down no matter who around me might.  How about you?  Have you been let down?  Hurt?  Lied to?  Talked about?  Better still have you made promises to someone only to neglect them for seemingly no reason at all?  Have you become so busy that unintentionally you have not “been there” for the very ones you promised to stand by?  I am not pointing a judgmental finger because should I do so, I would have three pointing back at me.  All I am saying, is we need to weigh our words carefully, we need to allow our actions follow our words or else be silent until we know that we can honor those words.  And perhaps knowing that we fail at times will give us more compassion towards those who we feel have betrayed our trust.  When I was a little girl, it seemed there was more honor in our world than today.  If someone shook hands on a business deal, or a friend made a promise, a handshake or a hug was good enough.  Now, even when people “sign on the dotted line” they think nothing of backing out on a promise.  So my desire is to promote TRUST, to be a person of honor and integrity, and to speak words that others can stand on.  I know I have failed at times and probably will again, but I want to make it a practice to be a person of honor.  My motivation comes from a faith that I know is sure and love that surrounds me that I know I can depend on.  King or Queen?  Do you know where you will land?  Do you choose to be a safe place for those around you?

NOTE From The Editor: Wonderful news!  Some of the issue concerning our friend has been explored and resolved.  There was a mix up in the way help was distributed and the gift was sent to the wrong location - everything was tied up in cyber space for a bit.  Gotta love technology.  So hopefully, the remaining help will be on its way very soon!  So grateful for the "TC" community and their generous care and support.  You are a blessing!!!!!